


Uncomfortable (A Dinner and a Chat)

by onesliceofcheese



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, NB!Kara, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onesliceofcheese/pseuds/onesliceofcheese
Summary: Kara starts to discover herself, because maybe how she identifies isn't how she feels.





	Uncomfortable (A Dinner and a Chat)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hope u like my interpretation of nb!Kara. I know queercapwriting has done nb!Alex, but I always wanted to see how a nb!Kara would turn out, so here it is.
> 
> Go talk to me on tumblr:  
> @onesliceofcheese  
> @onetinysliceofcheese

I started dating Lena Luthor 10 months ago exactly today, and we have been nothing but completely honest with each other. I never had anything to hide from her, I would never want to hide anything from her. As soon as posible I told her I was Supergirl, and we both said I love you one month in. I was completely honest, until 5 months ago. That was when I started hiding my biggest secret.

Five months ago I changed my super-suit from a skirt to pants, because it felt better. Lena asked me about the pants, so I said that the pants were more comfortable. Then I cut my hair into a pixie. Lena asked why, so I said that it made me more intimidating to bad guys. I slowly started changing my style, which Lena picked up on. She asked why my clothes were baggier, so I said I wanted more freedom and breathing space when it came to clothing. I felt absolutely terrible, pushing Lena away like this, but I had no choice, I wasn't ready to come out.

One day I went online to buy a binder. I just didn't feel comfortable with my body. People would stare at my boobs which made me very uncomfortable because I didn't like the attention and I didn't like my boobs. Most days I wish I was born with small boobs so that I didn't have to bind, but some days I liked the control about it. With all the baggy clothing I was wearing recently, Lena didn't notice that my boobs had suddenly disappeared. I felt terrible hiding from her who I felt I was, but I still felt uncomfortable about the whole situation. Plus I was super nervous that she would leave me since I felt like I wasn't a girl anymore, and Lena is a lesbian. I always did the laundry when Lee wasn't home, so I was able to wash my binder no problem. The binder was at the bottoms of my dresser, knowing she would never find it there. 

Lena never knew that I was binding at this time. We stopped having sex right before. It sucked, because I knew somewhere deep inside this was my fault, we became more distant because of me. I was lucky I still shared the same bed as her. At least we weren't fighting. I was afraid that we would start seeing each other as just friends the longer we continued to ignore each other around the house. I guess you could say that these changes in our relationship were getting to me, because Alex called an emergency sister's night plus Maggie tomorrow night.

I walked to their apartment tonight, flying felt like too much work after fighting crime and aliens all day long. When I got to the door of their unit, they basically dragged me inside. Maggie poured everyone a glass of white wine (my favorite) and told me to sit down. That's when the questioning began:

Alex: "So what's up with the uniform and clothing changes?"

Me: "I'm trying something new with the uniform. The skirt was getting old and it didn't feel right. As for the clothing, I just wanted something more breathable".

A: "What do you mean, skirts didn't feel right?"

Me: "I don't know, they just didn't". 

A: "And your hair?"

Me: "I wanted to shake things up. Try something new."

A: "Ok I really didn't want to go here but you're not giving me straight answers, so why is your chest suddenly flat Kara? I didn't even know that DEO doctors were certified to to breast reductions".

Me (muttering): "I bind."

Maggie: "What the hell did u say Lil Danvers? You're going to need to speak up".

Me: "I bind my chest now. And the hair and the clothes and uniform go along with it. Because I don't know what I am. I don't know if I'm a girl or a boy, and I don't know how Lena is responding to all of these changes. Did you know we haven't done anything sexual in months? And I don't know if it is because she is busy or if she doesn't find me attractive anymore and I think I'm gonna cry..."

I rambled on for a few more minutes before Alex and Maggie pulled me into the nicest and warmest group hug. I spent the rest of the night at their place, with Alex hugging me, telling me it will be ok and that Lena still loves me. She says me being distant to her because of this didn't help my case, and I can't really deny that. Maggie walked down to the 24/7 Chinese place to get me potstickers. I'm so happy for Alex, Maggie is definitely a keeper. 

I woke up on their couch the next day. Maggie informed me that she had called in sick for me, which I thanked her heavily for. Alex was cooking pancakes and making coffee for us. Over breakfast, they helped me decide which pronouns I felt more comfortable using. I decided that while they/them pronouns were preferred, I would be ok with going by she/her pronouns as long as the gender dysphoria wasn't too bad. After breakfast with the lovebirds, I said goodbye and went out the door. When I got to my apartment, I received a text from Lena telling me to meet her at her work for dinner and a talk. In the back of my mind, I knew I was going to have to come out then, but this time I wasn't afraid. Talking to Alex and Maggie gave me confidence to come out to Lena. I was ready.

It was 8:15 when I walked into L-Corp for dinner and a chat with Lena. As I walked into the office, I was quickly greeted by Lena telling me to take a seat. I sat on the love seat, inviting her to sit with me. Reluctantly, she sat down next to me. As quick as she sat down, she asked the first question:

Lena: "Why have you been so distant babe? Is it even right for me to call you babe anymore? You are a new person I don't even know. If you aren't happy with me, I will not stop you from leaving, you know that right?"

Me: "Babe no no listen, I love you I really do, and I'm sorry for being so distant, I really am."

L: "Why have you been so distant then for fucks sake Kara?"

M: "Do you still love me? After all of this distance shit?"

L: "If I didn't love you, do you think I would be this damn mad?"

M: "Ok. What I'm about to tell you is huge, because it is a huge part of who I am. It will also explain the distance, the clothes, the hair, the uniform, and my boobs."

L: "Wait what happened to your boobs?"

M: "I started binding. And the reason why is that I don't identify as a girl, or a boy, I lie somewhere in the middle. I kept my distance from you because I love you. I don't know what your reaction will be, I don't know if you will love me after I finish what I have to say. All I know is that I'm tired of hiding who I am from you."

L: "Oh Kara honey I had no idea. I still love you, I will always love you. I'm sad that you didn't come to me sooner with this, but I am so happy that you did come to me with this instead of never telling me. You deserve to be you. I love you."

M: "Thank you so much. You always know what I need to hear."

We hug for a while. Then I pull away from the hug and rest my head on Lena's shoulder as we cuddle and watch One Day at a Time on Netflix. After four episodes, Lena pauses the show. She has more questions, to which I have the answers:

L: "So what are your preferred pronouns? Do you want to change your name, because you know I will pay for it to be legally changed right? What can I do to make you more comfortable in public and private?"

M: "I like they/them pronouns the best, but she/her don't bother me. I don't know about my name, we can cross that bridge when we get there. And just refer to me as they/them, and I'll be ok."

As Lena crawled into bed with me later that night, we finally had sex, which felt great. Finally we didn't feel like one party was ignoring the other party's needs. Plus Lena called my binder hot. I didn't think that I could love a person this much. And when our one year anniversary came up, I felt confident in knowing that I had the world's best girlfriend next to me (plus her coffee mug said "World's Best Girlfriend" and who wants to argue with that mug am I right?).

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment telling me what to fix/what you enjoyed about the fic! 
> 
> And SuperCorp shippers: stay strong! I know comic-con today wasn't helpful, it personally made me feel like shit. But we are valid, our feelings our valid, and wlw relationships are valid! Stay strong <3
> 
> Go yell at me on my tumblr:  
> @onetinysliceofcheese  
> @onesliceofcheese


End file.
